


Killing Spiders

by Xephin



Category: The Yogscast
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-30
Updated: 2014-01-30
Packaged: 2018-01-10 14:59:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1161057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xephin/pseuds/Xephin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What happened after the events in Riding Spiders, Lalna's POV.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Killing Spiders

**Author's Note:**

> Sequel of Riding Spiders.

He felt as if his heart had shattered into a million tiny but painful shards.

Of course, Lalna knew that was physically impossible but that didn't stop the ache. Xephos had cheated on him. The one person Lalna had thought would be trustworthy and never hurt him had done the worst thing he could ever do. Lalna held back a sob as he all but ran back to his castle, away from Xephos. He wasn't going to cry, crying would only make it worse.

 

_"I'm so sorry..."_

 

Xephos' words thudded around in his head. How could he have thought those simple words would have fixed everything? How could he have thought Lalna would have forgive him that easily? He should have known that it would be impossible to get the image of Sjin and Xephos out of his mind.

 

_“I was drunk, I don’t even remember it.”_

Lalna didn't even bother to close the door as he rushed into his castle. He didn't know if it made it better or worse that Xephos had been drunk. Was that really all it took for Xephos to betray him? A few beers? He barely registered stepping into his room and collapsing onto the bed. He could barely breathe but he still wouldn't let the tears flow.

 

_“You’re going to hate me.”_

 

Lalna didn't hate Xephos, he knew that much. He was angry, furious even, but he still couldn't hate the other man. He could never hate him, no matter how much he tried. Did he still love him? Lalna didn't even know anymore.

_"Did you break something of mine, because I really won’t be mad. Most of the stuff I own is junk, anyway.”_

Was it ironic or just stupid that Lalna was now breaking his own things? He wasn't sure what he was thinking when he threw the framed picture of them both against the wall, or if he was even thinking at all. He wondered if it was cliché to compare the shards of glass that now littered the floor to his own broken heart, not that he really cared.

 

_“I need to think, I’ll be at my home.”_

 

Why had Lalna said that? He couldn't think of anything he wanted to do less than think about what happened. As for being home, well, being surrounded by things that constantly reminded him of Xephos and what they had wasn't the best plan he had had in a while. While a small part of him wanted to never wanted to see or hear Xephos again, a much larger part wanted to hold Xephos and never let him go.

 

Did that make him weak? Lalna didn't know that either.

 

"Lalna? Are you here?"

Lalna shot up from his bed. That wasn't replaying the conversation over in his mind; Xephos was actually in the castle. He didn't say a word and waited. Soon enough, Xephos walked into the room, eyes red and hair wet. An long and awkward silence filled the room.

"I… I took a shower." Xephos muttered and Lalna would have laughed if he felt like the laughter wouldn't have just turned to sobs. "I know you said you wanted to think but I couldn't stop thinking about you and what I did."

Lalna didn't want to hear this. He didn't want to hear about Sjin.

"I know I already said this, but I was drunk. Don't think I'm trying to excuse this because I'm not. I just,” He hesitated, swallowing. “I just want you to know why I did it. I would never have done this if I was in the right state of mind-"

"Do you like Sjin?" Lalna said, interrupting Xephos. "Are you attracted to him?"

 

"No!" Xephos took a step forward. "That's why I hate that I did it so much! He was just..."

 

Lalna rolled his eyes. "Just there?"

Xephos shook his head furiously, silently begging Lalna to listen to him. "No. He was saying things and I guess I wasn't thinking straight because I listened to him."

The scientist took in a deep breath to hold back tears and sat on the edge of his bed. He hated the sight of Xephos towering over him but he needed to sit down before his legs gave out.

"What was he saying?" Lalna whispered, scared to hear the answer.

Xephos was silent as he fought through the haze on his mind and back to the night before.

"He bet me that he could ride a spider," Xephos said quietly, still trying to think of more of the conversation.

Lalna let out a humourless laugh. "If I knew that's all it takes to sleep with you then I would have said that a while ago, would have saved me time."

 

Xephos ran a hand through his hair in frustration. "No! I don't remember what happened afterwards but he was coming onto me and I couldn't say no." His voice hitched as he spoke and he wiped away the tears that began to fall. "You have no idea how much I would give so that I never did that. I regret it more than I've ever regretted anything in my life."

Lalna faced the wall to hide his own tears. He wasn't going to give Xephos the satisfaction of seeing him cry. "Well, that's the problem with regrets, isn't it?" Lalna said, his voice surprisingly steady for someone who had his heart stomped on by the person he loved most in the world. "You can't go back and change them."

Xephos rushed to Lalna, crying harder when Lalna shrugged off the hand he laid on his shoulder. "Please, Lalna. Don't do this, please. I love you, I love you so much." He begged, trying to get Lalna to face him. "Lalna, please."

 

A noise similar to a whine left Lalna as he was forced to face Xephos. "Go away."

The spaceman reached out to wipe away Lalna's tears but he flinched away. "Lalna, it was a mistake. I would never do anything like that again, I promise you." His voice was desperate as his tears fell harder. "I love you more than anything, please don't do this," Xephos cried.

 

"No, you don't do this!" Lalna pushed himself off of the bed and glared at Xephos. "Do you have any idea how much this hurts?!" Lalna fumed, pointing a finger in Xephos’s direction as his eyes narrow.

"I-" Xephos started but Lalna began to shout again. "No, you don't! You know why? Because I can keep it in my pants when I'm drunk!"

 

Xephos' shoulders slumped as he stared at Lalna. "I am so sorry. I never wanted to hurt you."

 

All the anger suddenly left Lalna's body, replaced by a feeling of tired. "But you did," Lalna mumbled, "you hurt me a lot and saying sorry won't fix that."

Xephos moved slowly towards Lalna and held his arms out. "But it's a start, right?"

Lalna nodded and pulled Xephos towards him, squeezing him tight; he felt as if he was drowning. Quiet sweet nothings were whispered into his ears in-between apologies and almost silent sobs.

 

"I forgive you," Lalna said after a while of just holding Xephos. "I can't forget what you did but I forgive you."  
  


Xephos nodded into Lalna's shoulder and Lalna felt tears stain his shirt. "Thank you."

 

It was going take a while for Lalna to trust Xephos again but he wasn’t going to give up Xephos that easily.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to Lividjaffas aka MildlyInsane for editing it and being awesome :)


End file.
